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His sexual problems // dysfunctions
Premature Ejaculation.... Coming too quickly and the need to delay ejaculation:
This is by far the commonest problem and is often very
embarrassing for the man, and disappointing for the lovers involved. Men can
learn to solve this problem, much of which is a result of a self
re-inforcing belief system. It may also be the result pf physical problems.
Failure to Maintain an Erection: This is the next main problem
for men:
My understanding of both these problems is that they are often related to a
fear... usually performance anxiety.... Am I wanted? Am I good enough? etc.
These fears are then reinforced by failures and self defeating belief system and
behaviour pattern is established. As the man experiences a perceived failure
they then create negative expectations.
The aim of working through the following exercises and the use of
visualizations of satisfying sexual encounters creates a positive success
orientated set of expectations and experiences.
I will describe a
simple method to deal with these problems.. however if life really were that
simple there would be no more problems... remember you can also email us and
enter into an ongoing process of working through these issues.
EMAIL US
There are two techniques, which use positive fantasy in
which the man is enjoying his sexuality and his experience, achieving orgasm in
a way which pleases him and his lover..
Instructions and Techniques for solving this problem:
Firstly create a positive fantasy
/ visualisation in which you see yourself having satisfying and
complete sexual encounters... there are two ways of doing this... the first is
to be watching yourself as if you are the star of the movie... the second is
more powerful and is when you are "in the movie" and are feeling and
experiencing the fantasy as if in it and watching the others involved.
Use these fantasies when practicing
the following techniques:
1) The stop start technique: This technique is used for those with premature
ejaculation.
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Masturbate, using a dry hand, focus on the
pleasure, notice the feelings and sensations and the actual feelings / thoughts
you are having.
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As you approach the point of ejaculation, stop and relax, then
when you no longer feel that you are about to reach orgasm, you resume
masturbation.
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Repeat this stop start, aim for at least 15 minutes of stopping
and starting. This may take you several goes at practicing the technique.
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Keep on repeating this exercise until you feel very easy in the
timing of your orgasm.
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A good idea is to then use a lubricant such as KY jelly, as this
will create a higher level of arousal.
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When you are comfortable doing this involve your partner and ask them to
masturbate you, telling them when to stop and start, until again you are
comfortable in the timing of your orgasm.
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Finally practice the equivalent technique during intercourse. This will lead
to very enjoyable sexual experiences!
The Squeeze Technique, stops ejaculation- add this technique to the stop start to treat premature
ejaculation.
The penis is tightly squeezed, for 15 - 20 seconds. Squeeze with
the thumb on the fraenulum and two fingers on the upper penis, just below the
glans. This need to be firm and with no movement in order to prevent ejaculation
Masters and Johnson, suggest that couples work together. The
partner sits astride the penis and grips the
penis as described This is then practiced several times before letting the
orgasm be experienced.. The technique is practiced until control is achieved.
Just How Does Your Penis Work???
"The penis does not obey the order of it's master, who tries to
erect it or shrink it at will... instead the penis erects freely while it's
master is asleep." Leonarado Davinci …
How is the penis controlled?
The Central Nervous system via the autonomic nervous system. When
at rest the sympathetic nervous system actively reduces the blood flow to the
penis, when aroused the para-sympathetic nervous system actively supplies and
organises the blood flow... creating an erection and maintaining it. In arousal,
excitement signals come from the brain in response to smells, sights and
thoughts and physical stimulation of the genitals. As a result of the signals
from nerves in the penis release chemicals which cause the walls of the arteries
in the penis to relax. That creates an erection, as the spongy tissue in the
penis fill with blood. As these spongy tissues fill and expand they put pressure
on the veins, and so increasing the pressure even more, and increasing the
erection. The arousal circuit is completed by the penis sending signals back to
the brain about how it is feeling... so increasing the feelings of arousal.
After orgasm the sympathetic system again limits the flow to the penis.
During the night the activities of the sympathetic nervous
system is reduced, hence the frequency of nocturnal erections.
Erection problems.... 40% of 40 year olds
have some problems with erections... many of these are caused by physical
problems, for example diabetes.......And because a man's moods and mental
well-being effect the flow of nerve messages to the penis it is not surprising
that stress, depression, anxiety, or anger often underlies erection
difficulties.....
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